This list was hard, yo. When I wrote up my last List of Five, I left off a few actors because I realized it wasn’t the actor I was finding so attractive — it was the character he portrayed. From swashbuckling heroes to dudes unafraid to break out into song to woo a lady, it was about finding myself swept up in the storybook or fairytale. Playing the damsel in distress instead of the woman forced to have it together all the time. Playing fantasy is just more fun when you can really push aside reality and throw yourself in the story. Here are a few of the leading men I’d want by my side.
1. Will Schuester, Glee
I want to know when I got old enough to start digging on the TEACHERS in high school dramas instead of the students. (Memo to Diane: Probably about the time that “digging on” took a flying leap out of the common vernacular.) This love was sealed for me when he danced around to “Gold Digger” in an oh-so-perfectly-fitted T-shirt. His devotion to the students just ups the HEART-MELTING factor. I envy that Emma Pillsbury. (Well, except for the whole coach-in-hot-pants part. PANICFACE.)
2. Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
I must admit, before this movie, I did not understand the appeal of Johnny Depp. Didn’t get it. CLUELESS WAS I. Apparently slapping some eyeliner and a questionable hair style on the man makes him nigh on irresistible. If I were Elizabeth Swan, you could not PAY ME to pine away for Will Turner.
3. Edmond Dantes, The Count of Monte Cristo
Though I’m speaking of the character from the book (one of my favorites), I’ve done you all the favor of posting a picture of him as portrayed by Jim Caviezel (List of Five material in his own right) in the 2002 film adaptation. Edmond spent years digging his way out of prison to get back to Mercedes. That’s dedication, my friends. This man made vengeance SEXY.
4. Paul Ballard, Dollhouse
This man. Words fail me. It took a while for him to grow on me, but his devotion to Mellie won me over in the end. Also maybe he took his shirt off a few times. When I heard the (excruciatingly painful) news of Dollhouse‘s demise, I will fully admit my first reaction was, “but what about BALLARD?”
5. Robin Hood, Robin Hood … Yes, The Disney Robin Hood
BEAR WITH ME, here. The dude is a FOX! He’s an outlaw. A charitable outlaw, at that. I fell in love with him when I was 5 years old, dancing around my living room in my purple nightgown, pretending to be Maid Marian. That love is still going strong, and if I could turn myself into an animated fox, I’d be all up on that.
Girl Talk Thursday, where a grown woman admits her undying love for a CARTOON FOX. Don’t ever accuse me of holding back on you guys.
I showed you mine … Will you show me yours?
LOL, I never thought about the foxy Robin Hood, but you make a good point.
I’m with you on Will Schuester. If I were a little younger, I’d say yes to Puck and Finn, too. And I agree that Will Turner’s got nothing on Jack Sparrow. 
My list is here: http://secondglantz.blogspot.com/2009/11/another-list.html
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Another list… =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I think it’s so funny that they are so close in age in real life. I think Matthew Morrison is in his early 30s, and most of the “teens” are in their mid- to late 20s. Puck is SUPER hot. Even with the questionable hair.
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What an original list! You have introduced me to a few nebies I’ll need to check out for myself. Johnny Depp almost made my list, but I wasn’t sure which character made me salivate the most.
You can find my lust, I mean list, here : http://knoxvillepixie.blogspot.com/2009/11/girl-talk-thursday-my-fictional-top.html
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
After he caught my eye in Pirates, now I find him hot in pretty much anything. Including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Which … yeah.
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I completely forgot about Jack Sparrow. Oh well, I went all TV characters anyway.
My list is here: http://www.tantrumsandtequila.com/2009/11/girl-talk-thursday-fictional-five.html
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I just went back and reread your post. Dollhouse’s demise? What? No. This can’t be. Crap.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I know less fair things have happened, but I can’t think of any right now. Mope.
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Okay. Robin Hood? I totally had the hots for him for a long long time too.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
It’s the ACCENT, no?
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Ballard can take his shirt off for me any day!
.-= Vic´s last blog ..Jedward! =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Sorry. I passed out there for a moment from the THOUGHTS. Better now.
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You picked Robin Hood? I picked Zorro. It’s the hero type.
Awesome post. Will almost made my list. Toss up with him and Jim Halpert. Jim’s been around longer so I gave him the edge.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..For Maddie =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Jim tempted me, but I already had John Krasinski on my other list. I need more lists. NEVER ENOUGH LISTS.
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[...] (Girl Talk Thursday has more fictional eye candy for ya.) [...]
RAUR BABY. MMmmmmm Will & Jack. RAUR.
Will teaching dancing to the red-headed teacher? WAY HOT.
And I would totally let Jack rip my bodice.
.-= VDog´s last blog ..Friends in Need by @middleagedwoman =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I love the scene where he puts the chalk dust on her nose. Who knew something like that could be so HOT?
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Ohmigod I am so glad that other ladies still have a crush on cartoon-fox-Robin Hood.
.-= Laurenmonkey´s last blog ..consumerism wow: Adam’s picks =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
THANK YOU for the validation. I totally feel better.
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Laurenmonkey Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
mm. Not sure it’s validation so much as “whee hi you’ve got issues in good company!” I had a crush on Donatello (the ninja turtle.) when I was kid, too, so.
.-= Laurenmonkey´s last blog ..consumerism wow: Adam’s picks =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Hahaha. Noted.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..7 Quick Takes – Posting OVERLOAD =-.
[...] Talk Thursday’s topic this week is “Fictional Five“. Drop by, leave your thoughts, and please, if you like — [...]
OMG you are so right about Robin Hood. I was trying to think of a Disney character I would list – I totally shoulda thought of that!
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I also may have considered Aladdin. At least he’s HUMAN, though. Maybe I should have gone with that.
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Oh yeah. In addition to my Fictional Five, earlier this week I made a huge post on my standard List of Five since I couldn’t do it back in September. I have linked THAT post to this comment, but I also used the Mr. Linky widget in the original List of Five (September 3) GTT post.
Go on, you know you want to. More pictures of hot dudes.
.-= Della´s last blog ..Girl Talk pre-Thursday – List of Five? =-.
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Make up lists! Excellent!
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Captain Jack? Yes, please.
And a cartoon fox? You have issues. Are you into furries, too?
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Diane Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
ACK! No no no! Nothing like that, I assure you.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Birthday girl =-.
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thanks for encouraging me to waste my afternoon looking for fake people to sleep with- productivity at its finest!
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Love that you picked the foxy Robin Hood. Great choice!!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Maddie =-.
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You and my two and a half year old daughter! (In regards to Robing Hood) She always requests that movie. He’s starting to grow on me though lol.
.-= Brittany´s last blog ..We’ve Been Busy here at Deep-N-Thought =-.
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YOU GUYS!!!!
I cannot BElieve that no one has listed JAKE RYAN!! I heart him until the end of time!
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Feel no shame! I’ll write mine up later and then you can make fun of me if you want, but I think you have nothing to feel ashamed about!
.-= Parsing Nonsense´s last blog ..The More You Know =-.
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I had to make mention, before I got too sidetracked to remember: Patrick Verona, from The Taming of the Shrew, as played by Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. That was some SHAKESPEARE.
.-= Zoeyjane´s last blog ..On the really important decisions in life =-.
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Laurenmonkey Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
For playing a character as classically unappealing as Verona, Heath Ledger’s crushability in that role is Universe-stopping. The scene on the bleachers? Still makes my inner-16-year-old melt. Good call.
Also this reminds me that I totally forgot Chaucer from A Knight’s Tale, played by Paul Bettany: http://www.viceland.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/10128.jpg
.-= Laurenmonkey´s last blog ..consumerism wow: Adam’s picks =-.
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This was fun, I love this idea. You ladies rule!
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Fictional Five =-.
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Looking at others, I realize I’ve made a terrible omission leaving Jim Halpert out!
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Fictional Five =-.
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Girlvaughn Reply:
November 14th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
I struggled with adding Halpert… I WANT to want him… Him and whatever Zach Braff’s character on Scrubs is… I WANT to want both of them… more for you I guess.
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I tweeted mine! If that doesn’t count, then THBBBT.
http://twitter.com/grammarmonkey
In case you’re reading this like 200 tweets from now, my picks were John McClane from Die Hard, Eric Northman from the Sookie Stackhouse series, Joan Holloway from Mad Men, John Constantine from Hellblazer, and Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet. I will take 2 of each, pls, thnks.
.-= Laurenmonkey´s last blog ..consumerism wow: Adam’s picks =-.
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IS it just me or are there a freaking LOT of L’s in the names on this list?
Also, her Puck looked at my boobies.
.-= Della´s last blog ..Paranoia, or normal? Or both? =-.
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Ran across this & have to give you my 5:
Doctor Who (Brilliant time traveling Time Lord with a sexy accent…it helps that David Tennant just does it for me)
Eric (True Blood)
Captain Jack Sparrow
Captain Tightpants, I mean, Captain Mal (Firefly)
Edward (from the books, not that RP isn’t gorgeous, it’s just that my version of Edward is hotter with me as Bella *blush*)
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YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OF OF MY RRRRROBIN!!!!!!
Heh.
.-= Loralee´s last blog ..Aquaphor review and gift basket giveaway. (Did I mention the $100 Visa gift card? This giveaway is buckets of awesomesauce.) =-.
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[...] a sucker for that combination. Topher, I apologize for letting pretty-boy-Ballard knock you off my Fictional Five list. I AM ONLY HUMAN, after all. But maybe you could wipe my memory from that little incident and [...]
[...] I know I hosted the ORIGINAL post over at Girl Talk Thursday, but I’m doing NaBloPoMo here. I need something. And now [...]