I have to confess something, you guys. When we set up the schedule around these parts, sort of the way we do it involves getting things all set and then each of us picks the topics that, you know, SPEAK TO US or inspire us as writers. It’s definitely super heavy, you know? And I always pick something thinking, “Oh man, that one will be so easy! I will rock that topic!” And then do you know what happens? It ends up being the eve of my hosting, and my brain freaks out and I apparently lose all ability to understand what a topic means. SO I GOOGLE IT. I mean, really? I had to google “pet peeves” in order to tell you what my OWN pet peeves are. (Don’t worry, I didn’t copy off Chick Chat Fridays or anything like that. Much.) But don’t anyone ever accuse me of not fully researching my posts, because, man. I think I have the fear that I will write a whole post about pet peeves, but nothing I actually mention will COUNT as a pet peeve, and then it will be my own version of “Ironic” and before you know it? TEN-THOUSAND SPOONS AND NO KNIVES.
Now that I have essentially made things worse than if I’d not given you that little glimpse into my brain, let’s kick it into the bullets before more damage can be done.
Eating noises. Chewing loudly. Gum smacking. Gulping water. There is something in my head that just … tickles … when I hear these things. My brother is the same way, so you can imagine how enjoyable our tandem cereal-eating was growing up. (He’d yell at me for the spoon tapping against my teeth. Try avoiding that some time.) Oh, and gum POPPING? He had it comin’ indeed.
Yell whispering. You know the ones. Behind you in the movie theater, thinking they’re being so quiet because their vocal cords aren’t vibrating. Two aisles over while you’re studying in the library. Hey, folks? WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU.
Stepping in something wet while wearing socks. Eeeewwww. Ugh.
Outdoor cats. Okay, look. I’m sure YOUR outdoor cats are perfectly well-behaved. I’m sure they don’t spray in other people’s yards and howl outside windows at 3AM and dig up flower beds and leave footprints and scratches on other people’s cars. So we’ll just say I’m talking about OTHER people’s outdoor cats. On a related note,
Referring to your pet as your “fur baby”. I take no issue with someone treating their pet like a child or even referring to a puppy as their “baby”, but the phrase FUR BABY conjures up all sorts of images in my head, and none of them are conducive to a full night’s sleep.
That string thing that holds two shoes together in the store. Yeah, I know, this can be avoided by buying your shoes some place that doesn’t also sell ham, but I’m just not always that fancy. So, after searching high and low for your size, you attempt to try them on, but your feet are bound together by 4 inches of twine, and you can’t walk! So either you do some shimmy shuffle to get an idea for how they fit, or you try on just one, dragging the other behind you like a freakin’ ball and chain.
Toilet seat hoverers. Toilet hovering is the PROBLEM, people. It is not the solution. Just sit on the damn seat and do your business and wash your hands afterward. I’m pretty sure as long as you don’t make a habit of licking the backs of your own thighs, you’ll be fine.
Women’s pants sizes. Can we just cut the crap already and size our pants by waist and inseam? Because I’m totally over wearing a 10 at one store and an 8 at another. Needing the petite length here, but regular length there. My husband can ORDER HIS PANTS ONLINE, and that blows my mind. (Along the same vein, I can’t stand when the short length is too short and the regular length is too long. When did we decide women only come in three heights?)
Cryptic tweeting. Oh, you know who you are. You have exciting news! But you can’t talk about it! But you can tell everyone that you have exciting news! I’m not saying people need to stop doing this, but once I know there is a piece of information out there that I don’t know, I become obsessed with knowing it. It’s my quest for knowledge. For science, even. Definitely not nosiness.
Trying to start a new roll of toilet paper. Must we use industrial strength glue in this situation? I just want to wipe myself! So I tear and rip and claw at it, and I’m in a hurry, because goodness knows what the baby has dismantled in my 12 seconds of solitude, and the first three layers are completely mangled, but that’s okay because I absolutely can’t use that beginning piece anyway, because there’s SPACKLE or something on it, and I’m not getting that near my ladyparts.
Whew.
Honorable mentions go to: reading over my shoulder, repeatedly sniffing through your nose instead of just blowing it, attention whoring, using made up words when perfectly good real ones exist (QUADRILOGY? OMG), people who always show as active online but are never actually there (GUILTY), blog posts that go on and on and on with no signs of stopping …
Wait.
Your turn now. What does the world do to mess up your existence?
Along the lines of made up words, people who talk in real life like a text message… OH-EM-GEE! Also, people who say things like “shizzle”. Stop. Stop now.
.-= Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Pet Peeves =-.
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Ohh, I hate those stupid little strings too! And you are spot on with the pant sizes thing.
.-= Tatiana´s last blog ..Month Eleven =-.
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THE TOILET SEAT THING, OMG. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.
auuugh.
.-= Melissa Dominic´s last blog ..Stylebook – 011810 =-.
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Hahaha YES THE TOILET THING.
I totally put wet socks before I read this!
And yes, yes yes to cryptic tweeting.
Also LOL I think I show up online 24/7. Or never.
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OMG! Please with the toilet seat HOVERING that leads to wet toilet seat. Because then I am forced to use 90 toilet seat covers to wipe up after you, and then I hate you forever and wish that you fall into a toilet that has ACID instead of toilet water because WHY AM I CLEANING UP AFTER A GROWN WOMAN?!
Ahem. Yeah, I feel you on these.
.-= Undercovermama´s last blog ..The post where I prove that I am KLASS-AY =-.
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Seeing as how I’ve been using a lot of toilet paper lately thanks to my giant baby, I’m poignantly acquainted with your last one. Why must the glue they use be so powerful? Are we unrolling our toilet paper in a wind tunnel?
.-= Parsing Nonsense´s last blog ..My Pernicious Pet Peeves =-.
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I hear you on the toilet seat issue. At my office it got so bad, someone finally put up a sign saying, “If you do not sit on the toilet seat, PLEASE CLEAN IT AFTER YOU ARE DONE.”
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Gah! Guilty of the exciting thing recently, but I don’t do it often, lol. And toilet hovering. LOL.
Nearly peed myself while reading this, which would have solved the toilet hovering issue AND the toilet paper issue, but would have possibly meant I would have the stepping-in-something-wet-with-socks issue.. and that’s no good.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Mind dump. =-.
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“the first three layers are completely mangled, but that’s okay because I absolutely can’t use that beginning piece anyway, because there’s SPACKLE or something on it, and I’m not getting that near my ladyparts.”
LMAO SO TRUE!!!
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The honorable mentions really had me cracking up…not that your entire post didn’t, but that was pretty good.
.-= Brittany´s last blog ..My BAND-AID surprise =-.
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[...] Those are my main peeves. What are yours? Join us over at Girl Talk Thursday! [...]
Okay, I wrote mine before I read yours. Perhaps we live in the same neighborhood except that we have roaming dogs as well as cats. I HATE that. Hate it.
Oh, and the wet socks, seriously. With an almost 12 year old dog who drools like a mad thing, this happens more often than I’d like.
This was fun. I’m definitely doing it again.
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I just did my first Girl Talk Thursday post – hope you enjoy it!
Love the Fur Baby pet peeve – I TOTALLY agree!
.-= Maria @BOREDmommy´s last blog ..Peeved: A Story of Pet Peeves =-.
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Colleen Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 11:37 pm
Welcome to Girl Talk Thursday! Very glad you wrote your first post!
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Pet Peeves =-.
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I love how everyone is pissed at Drivers and Cats.
Thank God we don’t have to deal with Toonces, the Driving Cat!
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OMG I think I broke the linky thingy. First for some reason I entered it on accident on LAST week’s post, which is wrong, and then I think I entered it twice, only the first time for some reason my name is Kellee? If the Mr. Linky gods care to moderate that problem, feel free.
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I’m with you on the pants thing. I got even more peeved when I learned that some stores sell men’s ADJUSTABLE WAISTED pants. You know, with those button things like kid’s pants have? Genius. And who really needs that more than women, what with the bloating etc. every month? ARGH. Now I’m all worked up…
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OMG, I love you even more now than I did 5 minutes ago (if that’s possible). Also? Guess who Googled “Chick Chat Fridays”? *face palm*
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[...] I’m fresh out. Visit today’s Girl Talk Thursday post for a funny set of peeves. I laughed. Snort. Share and [...]
[...] I think that’s enough of those, though I could go on for ages. Join in the fun at Girl Talk Thursday! [...]
Oh the pants. I hate, hate, hate pants shopping.
.-= Just Another Southern Girl´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: Pet Peeves =-.
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Referring to pregnant as preggers. Or prego. Just say pregnant, for crying out loud. In the same vein: hubby or hubs.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Another First =-.
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I hate hate HAAATE people that hover over the toilet seat, and not even because they’re prone to pee on the seat — it’s because they don’t freaking CLEAN IT UP IF THEY DO. Wtf!
.-= Teija´s last blog ..Peeves is not just a ghost at Hogwarts. =-.
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Cryptic tweeting. There should be a law against it. It’s just, kinda rude. And I have never understood why we can’t buy pants like the men do. That would just be so damn easy and slightly less anxiety-filled.
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[...] feeling a little bit like the arch enemies are just crawling out of the woodwork, so I figured that this week’s girl talk thursday came at just the right time. Only today is Friday. But, you know, I work at home, so you could tell [...]
AMEN to both the toilet seat hoverers and the pant sizes!
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