Here is a short (heh) list of the things that have irritated and/or pissed me off the in the last 24-48 hours. I would love to hear yours, so make sure you grab a button and participate. Or you’ll be next on the list of things for me to bitch about, y’hear?!
1. My husband’s farts. The man is a like a goddamn gas factory and he has only recently (upon prompting by my STARE of DEATH) started using air freshener. Usually, it goes something like this:
Him: ::stealthily farts and says nothing::
Me: ::sniffs the air, wondering which kid is poopy::
Me: ::sniffs again:: ::realizes that’s not a kid poopy smell::
Me: DaddyGeek, did you just FART?!
Him: ::sheepish look::
Me: ::kills him with rocket blaster::
I am a mother. Part of my job is sniffing out poop. If you are going to fucking fart, I need a headsup, asshole.
2. When the HR Exec at my former company who is offering me a job again tells me yesterday at 9:12am that he will get back to me within 24 hours and it’s 9:53am and I HAVE NO PHONE CALL OR OFFER. Whore.
3. My kids were sick day before yesterday and I had to be out of work. It’s the third sick day I’ve had to take this year, but that doesn’t annoy me. What annoys me is my Douchebag McBoss’ email at 9pm that day after ignoring my emails ALL DAY that reminds me how many sick days I’ve taken and asks me to be mindful and plan them better. THEY ARE FUCKING SICK DAYS. THERE IS NO PLANNING. I didn’t jet off to fucking Mexico with no notice, you bitch. I was CLEANING UP SHIT ALL DAY.
4. I ran out of wine last night when I thought I had two glasses left. I had a third of a glass. Yes, I drank it anyway.
5. My 3.5 year old isn’t potty trained yet, because she refuses to go potty. She KNOWS HOW, but she refuses. Except at night. As soon as her pretty little head hits the pillow, suddenly the girl CANNOT LIVE with a wet pull-up/diaper. I don’t think I need to explain any further how fucking annoying that is.
6. There are only 24 hours in a day.
7. My Starbucks Vanilla Latte today had too much foam and I feel cheated somehow.
8. I have forgotten my wallet for THREE days in a row because the baby put it in a desk drawer and I keep forgetting to take it out.
9. My hair is frizzy.
10. I don’t hardly ever use toner, but the day I do, I forget that I broke open a damn pimple on my chin and I put toner on it and OH GOD it burns.
11. I put my belly button ring back in but it just makes my stomach look fatter, and I feel uncool. I haven’t taken it back out, though, because I only got to wear this damn thing for a few weeks before I got pregnant the first time, and I feel as though I’m missing out on something.
12. Speaking of fat tummies, during the last week of my so-called “diet” I have gained 3 pounds. This may be because I didn’t ACTUALLY diet, and was more pretending to diet than anything else, but one should not gain weight on a pretend diet. It should be illegal.
13. The protective case for my phone broke.
14. There are only 24 hours in a day and I spend too many of them awake and not cuddling my pillow.
This list might make me sound like a bitch. For the record I only complained audibly about half of these things, and usually to my husband. He doesn’t listen to me anyway, so it doesn’t count.
15. It’s 10am and I still don’t have an offer. DAMMIT.
Crossing all appendages over here that you get that offer call SOON!
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Have I mentioned my love affair with YAL? =-.
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I think I’ll just bitch here in the comments, because one of the things I have to bitch about is never getting a chance to log in to wordpress long enough to post something.
Also, THE ILLNESS. Oh, winter, have you not had your way with me enough this year? We’ve all had a cold that mostly cleared up last week, but then it got cold out again, and the heat came on over night, and it dried out my whole head. So now my throat is sore again.
But! We’re not throwing up, and I really can’t ever ask more from February than that.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday – Sweet Valentine =-.
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all of these? YES! the diet/workout thing really pisses me off!! i hope you get that phone call your waiting on!
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I absolutely adore you!!
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I’m afraid to post about this topic just yet. Cuz I totally can’t think of anything to bitch about right now. Or I’m afraid that once I start, I won’t be able to stop. LOL But I have a waxing appt this afternoon, which should totally give me something to bitch about later. I’ll keep y’all posted.
.-= uthostage´s last blog ..Down to the wire. =-.
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Pamela Reply:
February 25th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
LOL I didnt know if I had anything to bitch at either then i found SEVERAL. and by several i mean 10. And im not even done!
.-= Pamela´s last blog ..And The (Gold) Medal Goes To… =-.
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oooh, I iz varavara good at this one!
.-= thepsychobabble´s last blog ..GTT: The Complain-y One =-.
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#1 and #3 made me laugh out loud…and commiserate with you greatly. I’m sorry, but at least you can be funny about it:)
.-= Kisha Floren´s last blog ..I Bitch, Therefore I Am =-.
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Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one with a lot to bitch about heheh ^_^. Hope you get that job offer!
.-= Brittany´s last blog ..LETTING IT ALLLLL OUT FOR GTT =-.
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I really can’t wait until you never have to deal with her again…however, next time send her a return email. Sorry but my ONE YEAR OLD doesn’t plan vomiting quite that well.
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Oh, my god, I’m so with you. We’re waiting for an offer right now for P and it’s making me nuts. He may not even accept it, but I’d like to know if we need to be thinking about it or not.
And B was not potty trained until December 31, 2009 (he was 4 and 1/4 years old). He still has accidents here and there, but overall, he’s getting it.
And diets/exercise plans can suck it. My knee is clicking like an old school pedometer. GRRR.
.-= Beth´s last blog ..GTT: I Get to Bitch =-.
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I’m probably fixing to piss people off, but yall still love me – right?
.-= Kim @ Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: This Post Might Be About You =-.
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In addition to my baby hiding my important shit, I also accidentally leave things like my effing keys at other people’s house who live really far away because my husband brought his too…
.-= Kami´s last blog ..Off My Chest and Onto Yours (I’m Not Talking Boobs Here, People) =-.
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Now this I can do (instead of stalk from the corner)
24 hours in the day…seriously how much do you REALLY expect me to get done?
People who you’ve told repeatedly that ‘chaos is imminent’. This is not to be taken lightly people, when I say ‘be prepared’ that means prepare NOW. It is not an ‘option’ or an invitation meant to be taken lightly. If you choose to, do not cry to me when the shit hits the fan and you are left covered because I will have no sympathy.
Men – who died and made them ‘god’? Seriously, do you really think I will listen to you just because you “said so!?”
Awake at 2AM…not what I want to be doing unless I’m tied up!
Crap – yes, I’m talking smelly, nasty, rotten crap…why am I the only one who can change my toddlers disgusting diapers???
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dude. frizzy hair and a botched latte is TOTALLY worth bitching about. any day of the week.
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Boys and their farts are NOT funny .. ever. A fact they clearly will never get. *sigh*
On a happier note, me = LOL (literally, throughout the whole post). Thanks!
.-= The Ranting Mommy´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday – Bitchin’ Away =-.
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Mine will post tomorrow. Not a bitch at the world, just at myself. Glad you posted the disclaimer at the end. It is the first time I’ve read anything here and it did come off pretty heavy.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..1,000 Comments Challenge =-.
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